End

In the blink of an eye, I've finally come to my final stages in high school. Three years have passed since I cried thinking I would not go to school because of mom's gambling.

What gambling? Jadi, pas gue masuk SMA tuh ada kaya tiga tahap gitu, umum, lokal, sama sisa-sisaan gitu. Nah gue tahap pertama tuh daftar di 14 dan sebenernya gue sangat ingin masuk situ tapi biar bisa sekolah di sana banyak pro dan connya serta penuh drama sih so gue akhirnya ga verifikasi dan nungguin tahap tiga, di mana gue dan nyokap ngirain kalo ga verif tuh jadi ada spot kosong.

Tau-taunya zonk gaada spot kosong. Adanya di 71 dan 91, sekolah yang honestly, sangat gue hindarin gara-gara banyak isu kalo di sana tuh pergaulannya sangat buruk (padahal sih tergantung lo lo nya juga mau bandel apa engga). Tapi kalo diliat dari bagusan mana sih ya pasti 71 kan, jadi gue daftar situ. Gaada 30 menit gue ketendang.

Gue masi inget nama yang nendang gue itu, si Januar (tau-taunya dia pindah ke 61 kan gue jadi sangat ingin sorakin dengan penuh bahasa kasar). Gue paniknya gaketolongan lagi sih; gue nangis sekejer-kejernya, nyalahin nyokap gue wkwkwkwkwkwk gara-gara mau gambling tapi untung 91 masi ada kosongnya jadi masuk deh gue di situ.

I still vividly remember my first year, how I was super awkward and sat alone like a freaking loser lmao. Anyway I eventually befriended people and met a friend who stayed until my third and a month year lol.

Maybe it was because influence or because of my bitterness and pettiness; that friend and I ended up separating ways. There are times I would regret it but mostly I'm quite content with how things have played out. I hope I didn't make a wrong choice, even if I did, I wish everything is for the best, for me and for that friend.

Sometimes you can't help it, there's this dark side of your heart that would entice you to be mean, to avoid and to ignore. I unfortunately didn't have enough will to not go into the dark side and I chose to break a friendship. It was relieving and burdening at the same time, to stray away from someone that had made you comfortable.

But in the end, it's for my self-growth. I'm not saying that friend is a bad influence, I wasn't the brightest in the class because I made myself think that they're a bed to fall back down; meaning I made myself fully dependent on them.

It was wrong of me, I should've stand on my own because once that friend didn't do things they way I wanted, I found myself hurting too much. My happiness should be guaranteed by myself.

Welp, let's stop talking about bittersweet memories; let's talk about this so called 'final stages' of my high school experience.

So this last Friday, there was a market day. I sold foods like fettuccine, tuna sandwich and drinks like green tea latte, thai tea and orange squash.

It was fun, though it was also tiring.

And now we're currently undergoing try out from Gunadarma and in my twelve years being a student, never have I experienced a try out so absurd that even the teachers told us to give up lol, definitely a new experience.

Soon, we will face US, USBN, and UNBK (wow that's a lot of exams). It will be due in less than a month oh my God.

To everyone who will face finals, let's hope for the best and let's all meet in good universities!